The New Zealand Chapter

It was Alain de Botton who said about travel that you inadvertently bring yourself along wherever you go. He’s right, and despite my attempts to flee myself, no matter where I go ‘I’ am still right here. The same me. Usually happy, smiling, laughing, but not always. Most of the time, I’m also desperately restless and unable to live in, or for the present moment. Time so valuable but I just keep running from it. I have spent far too long anywhere other than where I actually am.

This was my biggest break, my most dramatic escape. I’ve run halfway around the world, across 13 time zones, and all to escape what?

The path that seemed to be laid out after university? The city job, working at a desk and inside while the sun is shining, only to spend money on London rent and weekends at the pub?

I know this isn't for me and thought nothing could haunt me if I left it all behind. How wrong I was, and on landing in Auckland I cried and thought, “what have I done.”

But there were other reasons of course for why I chose New Zealand. They say it resembles Scotland but is warmer, and with the last 4 years at university in Scotland, it remains the place I call home. In parallel, New Zealand too has nature that is astounding and I am all too often drawn to remote and wild places. Lastly, it is rumoured that kiwis don’t wear shoes and I hate shoes. Clearly, hours of deliberation and careful planning went into the move… which perhaps was for the best otherwise I doubt I would have made the jump to the other side of the world.

I set myself the challenge of writing everyday in New Zealand. However, the geographical tie is the only coherence in these posts. They simply became daily musings on life at a difficult time, a way to occupy time. The days alone were long, too long. Some posts detail experiences I’ve had while travelling, and some I wrote to somehow connect again with home. Many are as random as the underwear I selected every morning. Fundamentally, they are all about connection, to people and to nature.

Waking up in a hostel in Auckland feeling fragile and regretting the move to New Zealand.